The following was shared with me by a fellow badass on this journey. He has an adult son who is bipolar, schizophrenic and does drugs. His son is much bigger than his father and on occasion is physically abusive to his father. He lives with his father but on occasion leaves home, gone for weeks on end, no communication with the father who loves him, looks for him and worries no end. He shared this with me having just found his son in the hospital after he went missing again for a month:
“…There is an Obligation to Sons And Daughters, manifested Deep within the heart of an
Old Man. It cannot be ignored nor transmitted to another.
Carrying it along, he thinks neither of Falling short nor Doing his best, as either are Unacceptable nor Attainable.
Continually faced with a Double-bind (fucked if you do Or if you don’t), he moves
Straight-on ahead, guided by Compassion and love; Authorized by what lays within.
He comprehends neither failure Nor success, as both extend Beyond his purview.
His Purpose is clear and sure–Service in perpetuity of this Obligation with humility and Confidence;
Fueled and driven by Grace,
Eminent and Intrinsic.
And when Grace is exhausted,
Wait patiently until more is Conveyed.
Until then, all else becomes Anecdotal…”
Brother Said
‘’…Become a man and a better man and father than my father and the best father I can, this is what I want. I realize I’m standing on his shoulders and learning from the wisdom and the lessons of my father’s life. I get to benefit from his successes but also his failures, struggles and even his demons. They say In These Rooms “…take what you like and leave the rest…” I am blessed to be able to take what I like from my father’s life. But in standing on his shoulders, I also have a responsibility to leave what won’t make me a better man and father when it’s my turn. This is My Obligation…”
Doug
“…I got in this heated argument with my old man. I was smelling myself. I raised my voice at him and was talking back at him to his face. I don’t know to this day what we were arguing about. He pinned me against the wall and told me “…don’t you ever fucking forget where you come from…” When I keep this straight, I admit life works. This is My Obligation…”
Kirk
“…Being all I can be drives me. My parents are on the faculty here where I’m attending college. There’s pressure on me to do well (their words not mine). I’m running for Student Government President and losing is not a fucking option. I needed to win at all costs. Winning they make clear is my responsibility to show we are winners. They are driving this shit into me daily. This is My Obligation…”
Stephen
Thanks Brother Said. That’s it. That’s the Obligation In These Rooms. Make sure one gets what they need and can use and leave the rest of that shit for somebody else. Getting right with the stuff from my past requires dealing with the simple shit that ain’t easy and letting the other stuff go. This is also true for me today as a father. My mother always told me “…you are an intelligent young man but damn boy the little things…” Yep, dealing with the simple shit that ain’t easy. This is my deal now as a father. This is my truth and I’m sticking the fuck to it. That’s My Obligation.
Read more about Doug, Kirk and Stephen and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #MyObligationMatters
The Struggle Continues….
