Dawn is a 40-year-old divorced white female. She is a commercial pilot who has had three DWI arrests and tried to commit suicide twice. She has two teenage children who have disowned her and most of her family will have nothing to do with her. She was court mandated to come In These Rooms. Today, she swears recovery is the best thing that ever happened to her and that the people In These Rooms are her family. Dawn said today she was surprised to find “… a lot of people don’t even know there are stories in the back of the book. Aren’t they meant to be like kind of Cliff Notes or a cheat sheet in the back of the book of life?”
“…I sit in the back of the room and cheat a lot in school, looking at the answers in the back of the book and off other people’s papers. I get over this way. I haven’t done the work but this is better than admitting I haven’t done my homework. I’m glad the answers are there. I don’t really like all this school stuff but I do what I have to. I’m glad the Stories in the Back are there. I think the stories and answers in the back, and on other people’s papers, will get me thru school. I don’t know what’s gonna happen in real life…”
Doug
“…Stories in the Back are the shit I never want to talk about. Stories in the back are about the shit I sweep under the rug so I can keep moving. Stories in the Back are the shit I’ve learned to bury and even forgotten. Stories in the Back are the lies I tell myself and have buried in the past. Stories in the Back help me move on in life. Not tending to the Stories in the Back, this helps me make shit better and less conflicted. I don’t find Stories in the Back to be the answers. Stories in the Back are where I learned to be the shit and problems I don’t want to deal with…”
Kirk
“…Stories in the Back are part of my life and who I am. Stories in the Back are questions and answers. Stories in the Back are the source of my laughter and my tears. Some of the Stories in the Back I hoped to never see again nor talk about. Stories in the Back have given me a joy and laughter I never imagined I could know. I love the Stories in the Back. They help me know and understand who I am and who and how great my Higher Power is. Stories in the Back show me my Higher Power has a grand goddamn sense of humor…”
Yalie
“…Stories in the Back are how I have lived life and survived. I’ve pushed shit to the back so I can get ahead. There’s shit in my background I wish I could fuckin remember. There’s a hole in my story today because I’ve lost the Stories in the Back. There’s a hole in understanding who I am because I can’t recall Stories in the Back. Many of my Stories in the Back have been filled with so much guilt, shame and remorse I’ve buried them or wish I could. I carry my Stories in the Back as I carry the baggage of my past. Stories in the Back will one day be the life of me. If not, Stories in the Back will probably one day be the death of me…”
Hunter
Stories in the Back is not a cheat sheet on life or in life. Stories in the Back are Life. Stories in the Back are about the stuff, much of it unresolved, that drive us, trigger us and motivate us every day. Stories in the Back are not about something in the back of a book or in the back of our lives. Stories in the Back are the story we’re living every day, right now and will live again tomorrow if nothing changes.
Step 3 of the Big Book In These Rooms says “…Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power as we understood this Power…”
“…As we understood this Power…” the good book says. I understand Him as the God who has shown up in the ugliest moments, situations and circumstances of my life with a Word and Message of hope for me and more importantly my Stories in the Back. I understand Him as a God who is the Power to redeem my Stories in the Back for my good and the fucking good of others. I understand Him to be a God who has walked every step of this journey with me and never turned his back on me for one minute during whatever shit I brought down on myself. My God has been there thru every fucking moment of my good and the bad sustaining me thru it all and giving me the power to live thru the Stories in the Back and the awareness, consciousness and wisdom to find in it blessings for me that will be blessings for others. Like I said, the Stories in the Back ain’t no damn cheat sheet on life. Stories in the Back are life and Stories of His Power helping me find ways out of my fucking no ways and greater purpose for my life and more importantly all the shit I fucking been thru. This is the Stories in the Back.
Read more about Doug, Kirk, Yalie and Hunter and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #BackStoriesMatter
The Struggle Continues….
