Tommie is a 38-year-old male nurse. Three years ago, he received his 2nd DWI before coming In These Rooms. His 2nd DWI ended with him wrapping his car around a telephone pole. Tommie admitted this evening he was drunk and trying to kill himself. He shared “…I thought I wanted my life to be over. Today, I am not there. That’s today. I know I drank because I wanted to forget the shit in my past. I wanted to forget how disappointed I am with my life and the shit that brought me in here. I am a failure and “…living In The Shadows of who I am has been the story of my life…”
“…We have to live here with my grandparents because we don’t have a home of our own like my friends and their families. My parents are divorcing. I feel inferior to the other kids I know. Why did we have to move here to Indiana? I’m having a lot of fun here but I miss the kids and friends I grew up with. I miss the places where I use to ride my bike and go to play football and basketball in the park with my friends. We must be poor or something because this is always happening to us. It’s different here without my father. I miss him. I feel lost a lot…”
Doug
“…I refuse to live In The Shadows of others. I refuse to feel like others are better than me. I’m gonna be first and the best even if I must make shit up. I want better than my past. I not only want what others have I want to be the best. I want to be them. I want, no I’m going to be somebody. I’m doing it here. That’s why I’ve turned my life around. That’s why I’m studying hard and getting straight A’s. That’s why I ran for and have become student body President. Because I’m showing the damn world who I am and what I can become, I will outperform others and make it to the top by hook or damn crook. I am all that and I’m going to make it. Watch me. I’m tired of living In The Shadows…”
Stephen
“…Living life In The Shadows is not believing we are all fallen, flawed and fallible. We all have our demons. We all put our pants on one leg at a time. Most sit down to shit and we all have gangster proclivities. No one is better than anyone else for everybody has some shit going on and the ground is level at the foot of the cross. We are all trying to get home the best fucking way we know how. I don’t have to take a back seat to anyone. No one walking this earth has been where I’m going. I’m going home so how the hell can another man tell me how to get there? Sharing our experience, strength and hope is the best any of us can do. Sharing the story of my fucking journey and helping others share theirs no longer living life In The Shadows…”
Hunter
“…In The Shadows is not making the difference in this world God created me to make. In The Shadows, I reduced my life to money and material success. In The Shadows, I judged people by the value they brought to me and the things they could do for me. In The Shadows, I believed I ran with and I had to be one of life’s beautiful people. In The Shadows has been a constant and ugly refrain in my life I wanted and needed to change. Like some Bad Juju Maan, life In The Shadows threatened all I truly valued and cared about. I am thankful today I have been set free to achieve my true purpose and to use my time, talent and treasure to make a difference in this world. I thank my God Maan I have been set free from my life In The Shadows…”
Sean Anderson
In The Shadows is the insanity of living beneath God’s purpose for our lives. In The Shadows is the insanity of seeing oneself thru the eyes of people, places and things, our tormentors and even victimizers, and the success model of this world, and then wondering what the fuck is wrong when things don’t go right.
In The Shadows is the insanity of believing we can experience a life of wholeness, fulfillment and joy gaining the world while losing our souls and a real sense of God’s Purpose for our lives in the god-damn process. In The Shadows is the insanity of self-images, self-awareness and self-identify that occur to us thru the lens of defining our insides by the fucking outsides of others. In The Shadows is the insanity of not finding meaning for today and tomorrow from the shit of our past, choosing a success model for life over fulfillment and forgetting that nothing we have done or will do can separate us from the love of God or keep us from getting home if we don’t give up.
“…If you don’t see yourself clearly, how could you possibly expect others to?”
Unknown
Step 2 of the Big Book In These Rooms says we “…came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity…” Sanity is understanding we’re all trying to get home by His Grace the best fucking way we know how. In The Shadows has been the insanity of striving through my belief, actions and behaviors to be something other than who, what and how God created me to be. I ain’t made it yet, but embracing what is behind and owning my shit, I’m making my way home trusting in my Higher Power. I’m believing I’m a badass becoming more fully human and beautiful whose been living In The Shadows a long god-damn time. As I come out from living In The Shadows like the biblical character Lazarus coming back from the grave, I’m believing thru is not only the way out of this shit; my thru is In The Shadows where I met and learn to trust the God of my understanding. My thru is In The Shadows where I learned to stop trusting in man and where God has shown me by His Grace, Power and Love that In The Shadows of my suffering, struggles and trials there is redemption. I thank God that because of what I’ve been thru I’m no longer just living life In The Shadows of my insanity.
Read more about Doug, Stephen, Hunter and Sean Anderson and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #TheShadowsMatter
The Struggle Continues….
