“…I entered Yale Divinity School in my early twenties in pursuit of a theological education. I was unaware of the origins of my addictive behaviors but aware of an underlining and nagging sense of being less than. I spent my life covering over and running from my past. What I found was an unthinkable level of hypocrisy.
My fiancé and I were staying at home of a senior episcopal priest and his family over a holiday weekend. Their son I believe was 11 or 12. When it came time to retire the first night, our host informed us we would be sleeping in seperate rooms since we were not married and there was an impressionable child in the home. They said they were not prudes and there would be no bed checks; what we did after the lights went out was our business. But, for appearance sake, we needed to put on this charade we weren’t sleeping together under their roof. They called this ‘civilized hypocrisy.’ But the hypocrisy does not end there.
This same senior priest was also my mentor and the man who sexually molested me on more than one occasion while in seminary and early on in my ministry. The effects of this on me and my relationship with my fiancé probably had something to do with the fact we never married (Well, yea). To this day, it has impacted all my romantic relationships and contributed to a level of distrust that permeates all my relationships. It was here my life first became awash in alcohol. It was here I felt the greatest need to hide the baggage of my past…”
Yalie
Wowser. Thank you Yalie. I call this pulling back the curtain on the hard facts and ugly truths of our lives ‘Radical Vulnerability.’ Radical Vulnerability isn’t playing charades with our past or current lives. Radical Vulnerability is refusing to go along with or willingly participate in any so-called damn civilized hypocrisy. Because they may at times be destructive forces in our lives, Radical Vulnerability calls for outing our Cast of Characters (C of C’s) and even naming them. It’s giving them a voice and the space to own their part in our addictions or tell their side of our story. What can I say, Radical Vulnerability is the shit (smile).
“…Leaders of tomorrow are, therefore, first of all, those who are willing to put their own articulated faith at the disposal of those who ask for help. In this sense, they are servants of servants, because they are the first to enter the promised but dangerous land, the first to tell those who are afraid what they themselves have seen, heard and touched…”
Henri Nouwen
The Struggle Continues…
