Diane is a 35-year-old Sister who is an alcoholic and former meth addict. Diane was a successful attorney, having argued before the Texas Supreme Court, prior to being disbarred behind her 4th DWI, serving 9 months in prison and receiving 10 years’ probation. Diane is openly lesbian and had a committed 7-year relationship with her life partner until, while on a vacation, she left her partner in a Las Vegas hotel room, never returning, and went out on a 60-day drunken binge. Diane said In These Rooms this evening “…I have a crazy person in the back of my head. Her name is Louise. I believe she loves me but believe me you don’t want to meet her. It’ll be a miracle if she doesn’t one day kill me…”
“…An empowering step in transformation is the capacity to stop placing expectations on other people and instead place them on our inner characters…”
The Professor
“…I’m here at Yale and have lofty expectations. I’m looking forward to the future in ministry that is before me. I expect I will enjoy a good life and help a lot of people when I’m finally ordained. These are some of my expectations. But I’m confused by things I’m doing to make it. I’m confused by the incredibly shallow relationships I’m involved in here. I’m making friends but don’t feel these relationships are genuine. How can they be? I’m carrying a lot of baggage and secrets. I can’t believe I’m here academically. How did I get here? There are these secrets I’m carrying about the things I’m doing and have done to make it here. This shit weights me down. I’m not sure I’m gonna make it thru this program. I’m hoping I will. I know I’ve got work to do. I’m guess you could say I’m also Expecting a Miracle.”
Yalie
“…In placing expectations on our inner characters instead of other people, places and things, we affirm we are good with how God has made us. When we place expectations on our inner characters, we also stop making others the heroes of our lives and the heroes of our stories. I have found this to be fundamental to my transformation and more importantly to my fulfillment. I have learned to acknowledge the existence of my inner characters. This has not come easy but it has challenged me to strive to be my best self not only inwardly but outwardly as well. This is a process as well as a journey. I believe if I remain committed to this process, I will experience the absolute best this journey has to offer for me and others. This is the Miracle I am Expecting…”
The Professor
“…Expecting A Miracle is about the transformational stories of our lives. Expecting A Miracle is seeing our lives and our stories differently. There’s an African Proverb that says “…Until the Lion learns to write, we will always glorify the hunter…” Expecting A Miracle is seeing, thinking and yes writing the story of our lives where we are no longer the hunted. It‘s when we stop playing the victim of the stories we tell and the lives we live. I can’t change my past. Nothing I say or do will ever change the things I’ve done; the drinking, the arrests, the mentally abusive person I’ve been in relationships, the facts of all that shit are etched in stone. What is etched in butter is my opportunity to take the facts of that shit and make something of them that is meaningful for me and empowering for others. Maybe my belief that I can take the story of the shit of my past and make of it a transformational and even a heroic story is me Expecting A Miracle…”
Hunter
“…Expecting A Miracle is choosing to believe and see the best in humanity despite the bull shit and ugliness that is a part of this world. Expecting A Miracle is not allowing the prejudice and racism I have known from my youth to consume me and any longer cause me to hate my fellow man.
I have been angry and hated my white brothers and sisters based on how those of their race had treated me in the past. I was angry to point of wanting to do them harm both physically, mentally, emotionally and financially and felt and believed they deserved all of it based on past wrongs and perceived injustices. Expecting A Miracle is knowing firsthand my Higher Power has set me free from that shit and can and will set me free as I continue to move forward on this journey trusting, believing and hoping in his power and not my own. Expecting A Miracle is seeing in the shit life brings me and throws at me God’s Hand at work and a deeper step forward in my walk with Him…”
X
Step 6 in the Big Book In These Rooms says “…Were entirely ready to have a Higher Power remove all these defects of character…”
Expecting A Miracle is believing God can transform my so-called character defects into something He can use for my benefit and His Glory if I trust in Him. I received news one of the subcontractors I work with turned in a quote five times more than our closest competitor. I was pissed about it. Then, a good friend and I went out for sushi at a place that was half the price of the last sushi place where we dined. It was half the price but twice as good. It occurred to me all this numbers shit is relative but what ain’t relative is God’s Power and only God’s Power to establish true worth in this world. It occurred to me that this race to the bottom shit I’ve been engaged in is a devaluing of self. Expecting A Miracle is refusing to continue devaluing my life and my walk with God by always being willing to race to the bottom, lower myself and lower my prices. I believe in my work and myself when I believe in my life price and don’t change it for any people, places or things. I believe in myself and my work when I believe the same God who can use my so-called character defects for my benefit and His Glory can also find the business partners that value me and my work at any price.
Diane took a radical step In These Rooms by outing the character inside her named Louise. Now it’s time to place Expectations on Louise by charging her rent for the fucking space she’s taking up in Diane’s head. Diane, like the rest of us, can do this by writing about the chaos and havoc Louise brings down on her life. That’ll be some shit God will use for Diane’s benefit and His Glory. That’ll be Expecting A Damn Miracle.
Read more about Yalie, the Professor, Hunter, and X and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #ExpectAMiracle
The Struggle Continues….
