Shane is a 31-year-old railroad conductor. He is married and they have a 5-year-old son who has Downs Syndrome. He says his wife is also an alcoholic but she won’t come In These Rooms. Last month, she received her 4th DWI in the last 18 months. She is due back in court in the next ninety days. Their attorney says she may be looking at 2 years. Her spitting on the arresting police officer and having an Assaulting an Officer of the Law charge added to the situation doesn’t help anything. “…I know she drinks because of the stress and work of our son’s condition. When she isn’t drinking, she’s a good woman and mother. When it comes to what the future holds for us, I’m constantly trying to remember who she really is. This is when I remember we are not the God of who we are…”
“…I don’t have many memories from this time in my life. Moving around a lot, I didn’t have any good friendships or good memories growing up. I missed my father. Two fond memories I have at this time: I remember my father was visiting with us. My parents were divorced and we were living with my grandparents. We were watching the Pittsburgh Steelers game in which Franco Harris made the immortal catch referred to as the Immaculate Reception. We both jumped to our feet and danced in celebration. I have been a Pittsburgh Steeler’s fan ever since. The other time I remember when was watching a Notre Dame-USC football game. We were living in South Bend, Indiana at the time. I was watching with a couple guys that were friends at the time but also not lasting friendships. Notre Dame was winning 24-0 at halftime. We were all pulling for Notre Dame. It’s reported the USC Coach told his players “…we’re going to get that kickoff and run it back. We’re going to score, and score and keep on scoring…” The final score was USC 55-24 over Notre Dame. We were enthusiastically pulling for Notre Dame and greatly deflated but this was a true Remember- When experience…”
Doug
“…I’ve been telling people I’m this academic star from N.C. A & T State University and this deeply spiritual minster of the gospel. I’ve been acting like I’m as good as anybody else here. I tell myself I can be whatever I need to be here to make it. I’m catching hell. I’m no longer the academic star I was at A & T. I know I’m a fraud and fear I’m going to be found out. I’ve been lying my whole life. I’ve been lying so long I don’t Remember When the lying started and who I really am…”
Yalie
“…I believe Remembering When is about remembering we are our/these characters. We are always telling our story. There is a point of Remembering When in telling our story where we stop telling stories that characterize, pun intended, us as victims and instead choose to tell stories straight out of central casting that cast us as the heroes playing the leading roles in the stories we tell. I believe there’s a power in Remember When where we come to this point in telling our stories…”
Hunter
“…Remembering When is a line in the sand for me Maan. Remembering When is like a before and after of my life. I remember who I was before my Higher Power set me free from my bondage to money and materiality. Remembering When is how I know I am different and can celebrate the freedom from bondage to money I enjoy today. I remember how miserable my life used to be though I had plenty of money and celebrated my material wealth and financial success. I didn’t just have and enjoy things; they had me. They consumed me and my world. Remembering When, I have vowed, with the strength and hope of my Higher Power, never to go back across that line in the sand…”
Sean Anderson
Step 3 of the Big Book In These Rooms says “…made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power as we understood this Power…”
Remembering When has taken me from the pit to the penthouse of life. I pause to reflect on my life prior to coming In These Rooms and doing this work. Sometimes I have to pinch myself. I see how God can and has blessed me. Remembering When, I think of the ways I used to devalue myself, life and others for the proverbial thirty pieces of silver. Remembering When, I am reminded how low I did and would go if I thought for one minute I could make it. Remembering When, I realize how much of my life and story have been about a mindless chase for things and stuff that today I see as utterly worthless trash. Remembering When, I now get this shit. Remembering When, I also know how today my Higher Power has given me tools to repurpose this shit for something meaningful and a life of value and In Spite of Dreams. I am blessed to see these Dreams because His Presence empowers me to believe He can make all things new and give me a transformational Tale from the Wreckage of my past to share with the world. This is the joy I found in having the courage to Remember When.
Shane my Brother, Remembering When don’t end on this side of the Mighty Jordan. But Bro you gotta get outta your head. Your future has got a lot of shit in it straight up. But Bro, since you definitely got some shit to go thru, you can choose to play the star and leading role in leading your family thru this drama. Thru for y’all is the way out. Real talk. Why not choose in leading your family thru this shit to do that which is heroic for your family situation instead of that same old Remembering When of all the negative shit? What the fuck you got to lose but a whole lot of worry about shit that’s beyond your control? No, this type of Remembering When ain’t logical. But it can be grace filled. Whatta you got to lose Bro? Just saying, why not change your Remembering When?
Read more about Doug, Yalie, Hunter, and Sean Anderson and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #Rembering WhenMatters
The Struggle Continues….
