Thomas is a 28-year-old Native American Poet. He was recently fired from his 4th artisan gig for showing up intoxicated. It didn’t help his being fired, and after 4 prior firings needing an employment reference, that he taunted and antagonized his former boss in public on the way out the door. “…Of course, this got me fired…” Thomas said. He is awaiting trial for his 2nd DWI in the last 6 months and has been court ordered to this program. In These Rooms this afternoon, Thomas shared “…I have to excise the tumor of this disease I have. I understand this is The Last Place at the end of the block for me. The last 55 days in here have been a blessing. I have to do this program. I gotta get it. I get I’m going to hell from here…”
I’m not sure about this going to hell shit Thomas is talking about. It sounds to me like his ass might already be in hell. What is clear from his share is he’s got the law on his ass. Maybe this will help him to take this shit seriously.
Step 1 of the Big Book In These Rooms states “…we admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable…”
Thomas began his Step 1 Work this morning. He copped to the real shit that’s up with him. He got real he doesn’t want to be here. John Law has his ass sitting in here. He got real about what time it is for him and where he is on this journey. He got real about being a screwup, not unlike the rest of us In These Rooms, and needing to get direction and purpose for his life. Thomas is saying the right things. The truth is in the eating of the pudding.
There are two promises in the Big Book In These Rooms that are relevant for The Last Place shit Thomas is talking about that could be empowering for all of us. One of those promises is “…we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it…”
“…I used to regret the past, Maan. I used to feel I had wasted time chasing material things. I am thankful today that the past has become a door for me to walk into a present and a future greater than I could ever have asked or imagined. I have the opportunity to make a difference today greater than I ever thought. I owe my understanding of this opportunity to the past. I don’t regret it. I understand as part of my life’s work and challenges. I’ve learned to stop regretting the past and to embrace it…”
Sean Anderson
“…You dam right I ain’t regrettin’ the fuckin’ past. I want them to make that shit as profitable as hell. That’s transformation for me. Gettin’ paid for the shit I been thru, that’s transformation. I ain’t go thru shit for nothing. I ain’t nobody’s fool. I’m about turnin’ regrets into some damn Return On Investment (ROI)…”
Fr. Esteban
“…I used to regret the past. I used to feel bad about the past and people, places and things of the past. The past used to weigh heavily on my spirit. I used to be consumed by my past more than I ever realized. I understand my past today as my backstory. I don’t get here without the work In These Rooms. I don’t get beyond regretting the past without doing work and the love, support and wisdom of my Higher Power. Thank God…”
Hunter
The second promise relevant here is “… no matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others…”
“…I thought I would always regret the past. I thought I would take certain memories of the past to the grave…Today, I have found the courage talk about the past. Today, I can own aloud the shit that has happened to me in the past. Today, I don’t regret anything that I’ve been thru. Today, I can see God’s hand even in the experience of being sexually molested. Today, I have put The Last Place thinking in my rear-view mirror…”
Yalie
“…I struggled to find meaning in the past until I accepted there are no guarantees in life. Life is full of conflicts and is conflicted. It’s also true history has shown us anything is possible. I no longer struggle to find meaning in the past because I have found the power in choice. I heard it said the oldest choice known to man is to choose to play the victim. I have the the power to choose to make something of my past instead of playing the victim. I’ve stopped struggling with the past and I am taking active steps to make something new and good of it…”
X
“…The good news Thomas is if you can find the capacity to value the memories of the past, they can be the glue that keeps you going, struggling and moving thru difficult times and situations. Unresolved, and without work, the past is prologue and we are not able to move forward. We are doomed to repeat what we do not complete said the legendary attorney, Johnnie Cochran. Finding value in the valleys of the past, can however be how we keep moving forward. This can be how we help and serve others and learn to walk forward with purpose…”
The Professor
The bad news Thomas is if you don’t keep things moving this might well be that Last Place at the end of the block for your ass. As you said, if you keep this shit up, who’s to say fucking literal hell won’t be next. Your call. But as they say in those bars that are dragging your ass down, “…Last Call…” Or in this case, The Last Place.
Read more about X, Sean Anderson, Yalie, Fr. Esteban, the Professor and Hunter and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #TheLastPlaceMatters
The Struggle Continues….
