There are three frogs on a log in a pond. One frog decides to jump in. How many frogs are left? Three. Deciding isn’t acting. Action in recovery requires going to work with what we have not what we think we need or want. The action required In These Rooms is the radical self-disclosure that gets to the heart of ‘our part’ in problems with people, places, events and circumstances. This work is about us and our characters not mental trips about systemic pathologies. Our dis-ease is our characters run amok and kicking our butts.
Take the brother I call Henry. Henry is a 39-year-old Asian male and a former playwright. He grew up in an alcoholic family. Henry is openly gay. He moves around a lot in search of work and says, “…sobriety is helping me find my true self. I watch movies, reads books, learn new languages, and I’m learning to play the guitar. More than just working a boring 12-Step Program, these are the things I’m doing to beat the disease…”
Henry lost his job and is trying to stay sane. Says he is “…trying to eat right and works out a lot. Lost a great gig while in jail for DWI and Vehicular Homicide. First time I took a drink, knew I was a different person…” He expresses having multiple personalities. I’d call it a damn cast of characters (smile).
“…Got sober once. Stayed sober 5 years. Got drunk again. Second time, staying sober not so easy…” Continual series of relapses; only 12 months of sobriety in the last 15 years. Conclusion, “…good news, there is an answer. Bad news, there is an answer. Stop chasing sobriety and a better state of mind. I come to these meetings because it can be cheaper than therapy. For the couple of bucks, I put in the basket, I sometimes get more than I got outta a $60 therapy session…”
Angry a lot he says, “…Two years sober, I knew in my mind with every fiber of my being that a drink wouldn’t solve anything, yet I still chose to take that drink. You get good at what you practice. This sobriety shit is simple but it’s hard as hell. I get drunk we stay sober. Alcoholism is a disease of isolation cured by social interaction. Why I drink? Why I use? Probably, to deal with all this shit…”
Three thoughts here: 1) We are all characters on the stage of life; 2) Hope lies on the other side of the dangers in front of us; and 3) “…Don’t judge a man by his accomplishments; judge him by how high he had to climb…”
–Booker T. Washington
More on Henry next time. The Struggle Continues…
