Dawn is 28-year-old married lesbian massage therapist. Her father had 42 years In These Rooms. Dawn has been coming In These Rooms since she was 16 years old. She got drunk after her first night drinking. She crashed the family car and received her first DUI that first night. Dawn has come in and out of these rooms 5 times since first walking thru the doors. She received her last DUI 9 months ago after a blackout drunken binge in which she totaled the car she was driving. In her In These Rooms share she stated, “…I think If I had to pay for this program, I would have taken it more seriously…My sponsor said “…what we’re dealing with here is a mental lack of power…” My brain tricked me into thinking I had been homeless when I hadn’t…my head is like a group conscious meeting. If you’ve ever been to a Big Book Group Conscious Meeting, nobody agrees on shit…I need to know what I need to do for God to make me and my life better.” What you might need Dawn is a therapist and a Living WHY.
“…The person who hasn’t found something, some great joy, some great purpose, worth dying for isn’t fit to live; they aren’t living. They are existing…”
MLK, Jr.
I was In These Rooms for a different meeting. This guy was sharing about his friend who was a Nascar driver. He had it all: homes, cars, family, beautiful wife and beautiful life. I said “had” cause he’s gone. He didn’t die on the racetrack. He was uncontrollable alcoholic. They found him in the garage of that beautiful home of his with a single gunshot wound to his head from a 38-Revolver. The medical examiner ruled his cause of death as suicide. I would argue, Dawn, his cause of death was the absence of Living WHY.
I get your question Dawn. I too used to ask myself “…What do I need to do to make my life and myself better?” My head also had many answers.
“…I was raised to believe I needed material things to be somebody. Having and more having, this was my WHY…”
Sean Anderson
“…I believed and trusted more in my relationships with people than with my Higher Power. I believed and trusted more in what people could do for me than in who and what God wants for me and has for me. I had no WHY…”
Yalie
“…I knew deep within I needed academic success to be somebody. Most of my life, academic achievement has been my WHY…”
the Professor
Step 11 of the Big Book In These Rooms says “…sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Higher Power as we understood this Power, praying only for knowledge of the Power’s Will for us and the power to carry that out…”
Living WHY is finding that joy and purpose King spoke about in that quote above. I have breaking news—nobody is getting out alive. Unlike Fr. Esteban, Father Time is undefeated. The question, Dawn, is not if we’re going to die. The question is the WHY? I don’t mean what is the cause of our death. I‘m talking about Living WHY as the meaning, value and import of our living. Stated simply, WHY the fuck are we here taking up space on this planet?
“…Be and Become—I’m not what I fuckin use to be. I’m not what I’m fuckin gonna be. But one fuckin day at a time I’m livin my purpose to become what my God would have me become no matter who the fuck doesn’t like it…”
Fr. Esteban
“…Purpose- I have meaning and value in living today I never thought I would know. Music and its power to move and transform people is my WHY. I know it’s WHY I’m here. I know it’s WHY I’m living…”
X
“…Hunter—Story—I am a story that will never be again. I’m enjoying living and loving its unfolding. Living this story and telling this story, this is my WHY…”
Hunter
I decided for Ramadan to do 30 days of fasting from sunup to sundown. I’m not sure what I hoped to accomplish when I made this decision. I just knew at that moment it was the right thing to do. It has been one of the best decisions of my life. It helped me understand living is in my head. I haven’t been living life in mind, body and spirit. I haven’t been loving life in mind, body and spirit. This ain’t Living WHY.
Promise 9 of the Big Book In These Rooms states “…Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change…” as a result of working this program. Living WHY is living and loving in mind, body and spirit who I am and WHY my Higher Power put me on this earth and keeps me here. Living WHY is living and loving that I am here to make a difference and can be all God has created me to be. Living WHY is living and loving in mind, body and spirit that I am experiencing a new happiness and joy I can and should share with the world. Living WHY is living and loving that I don’t any longer have to regret the past nor be controlled by feelings of self-pity or uselessness. Living WHY is living and loving with every fiber of my being that I have a story to tell and experiences to share that can benefit others. Living WHY is living and loving that fear of people, places and things ain’t the fucking the heroes of my story. Living WHY is living and loving that I intuitively know how handle the shit that use to baffle me and ran riot in my life. Living WHY is living and loving in mind, body and spirit that I am free to be the blessing to others I want to experience for myself and yes be all God has created me to be and become. Living WHY is living and loving that I am and can do all this because I know deep in my heart, mind and soul God is doing for me every day what I can’t fucking do for myself. This is Living WHY Dawn. You said you want to know what you need to do for God to make you and your life better? Ask God for the gift of Living WHY to make you and your life better. He’ll do it for you as he has for so many others. He’s waiting on you and so is your Living WHY.
Read more about X, Yalie, Fr. Esteban, the Professor, Sean Anderson and Hunter and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #LivingWHYMatters
The Struggle Continues….
