Tiffanie is a 33-year-old Hispanic private commercial pilot. She is openly lesbian and has a 10-year life partner. They both have been In These Rooms and out since they first met. Tiffanie has completed the Steps 3 times but has also gone back out or relapsed 4 times since she entered the program. She has received 3 DUIs over the past five years but is adamant that In These Rooms she’s come to find a way of life she believes is the best thing that ever happened to her. In Tiffanie’s share, she stated “…the coolest part of coming In These Rooms and looking at our shit is we get to slow down. We get to be like the tortoise and slow down so we can see everything…” Step 2 of the Big Book In These Rooms says “…came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity…”
Don’t know about that tortoise shit but I’m down with The Coolest Part being looking at our shit and dealing with our authentic lived truth. I am down with getting real anytime anywhere. I don’t know about the tortoise shit but I am down with deepening my understanding of how to live trusting in God. Nah, I ain’t feeling the tortoise shit but I am down with no longer stressing over shit that I can’t change anyway. I’m down with changing my attitude when I can’t fucking change anything else.
Step 2 talks about being restored to sanity. I see dealing with our shit as looking at how we stay trapped in the cycles of pain from the past and in playing the victim. It’s said “…Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think…” Sometimes it takes understanding how late it is for us to get serious about being restored to sanity.
“…I know about playing the victim and staying enslaved to my past. For years, I allowed the past to define my present and limit my future. I thought I was the things I had done and what others said and thought about me. There’s nothing cool about this…”
X
“…Playin the victim and stayin stuck in the past, I think that shit is the definition of insanity. Ain’t nothin cool about that shit at all. If shit holds you down or holds you back, get over that shit. I’m not what I did. I’m not what others have tried to do to me or say about my black ass. I am fuckin who I choose to become…”
Fr. Esteban
‘…I was stuck in a cycle of pain that made stuff my master. I thought I was free because I had anything and everything money could buy, Maan. I thought this was the definition of cool. I spent my life buying things I didn’t really need to impress people I didn’t even like. I didn’t have a life; I had an existence…”
Sean Anderson
Education is defined as “…leading out of darkness…” We can’t teach what we don’t know and we can’t lead where we’re not willing to go. I believe The Coolest Part about coming In These Rooms is finding what is unique and special about our stories. The Coolest Part of coming In These Rooms I think is finding and understanding our WHY.
“…The Coolest Part of coming in here is finding the power of laughter and humor in life no matter what I have experienced or how far down I have fallen. The Coolest Part is the shit I can’t forgive I have found the power to laugh at. If you don’t learn to laugh at yourself in these rooms, you’re gonna miss the biggest joke that ever crawled thru the door…”
Yalie
“…The Coolest Part of coming in here is finding a Higher Power and having both my mind and heart set free. I found the strength to be and become the change I want to see and become in here…”
the Professor
“…The Coolest Part of coming in here is learning to change the script of my life, play different roles and most importantly to tell a new and empowering story. This is the story of my experience, strength and hope and the courage I have come to know in telling my authentic lived truth, trusting in God and being willing to be radically vulnerable. The Coolest Part is getting to see my story as part of a larger story…”
Hunter
The 9th Promise of the Big Book In These Rooms says “…our whole attitude and outlook on life will change…” That’s definitely some cool shit. The Coolest Part is we can be free to be the hero of our own stories. You’re spot on Tiffanie. When we slow down, we can get into Step 2 and realize we no longer have to be chained to the pain cycles of the past and playing victim and instead can become the hero of the stories we always wanted and were meant to be. When we slow down, we can experience Promise 9 and being the hero of our stories begins to look like finding our WHY in life. It looks like a willingness to share our authentic lived truth without shame or fear of reprisal from others. It looks like a commitment to trust the God of our un-understanding. It looks like being more than the hell we’re going thru by trusting in a power greater than ourselves. It looks like getting radically vulnerable like it’s said in John 8:32 “…you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free…”
But here is the other reality of Coming In These Rooms and slowing down, Tiffanie. Coming In These Rooms, that doesn’t change the fact we live in the real world of all kinds of shit going down. We live in the world of people, places and things and have to deal with the repercussions from the tales our wreckage and often find ourselves co-signing other peoples’ bull shit. We live in a world that will kick our ass and step on our fucking moral compass. We have to deal daily with shit that doesn’t make sense and ain’t fucking true. Playing the victim and staying stuck in cycles of pain from the past doesn’t change easily or overnight. We have to deal the fuck with it. People say “…this too shall pass…” But like having gas, sometimes that shit don’t pass fast enough. What the fuck. Coming in here doesn’t change any of this shit as fact Tiffanie. There ain’t nothing cool about the reality out there or in here and it don’t fucking end just because I bring my blackass thru that door. This is something we have to deal with. Coming In These Rooms, ain’t a guarantee of shit. That ain’t cool but it fucking is life.
This truth and reality notwithstanding, there is The Coolest Part. The Coolest Part of coming in here is when we find the time, space or capacity to separate the bull shit from reality. We’re constantly bombarded with shit in life. It’s said “…when you don’t know where you’re going, any fucking road will get you there.” The Coolest Part of coming In These Rooms is getting real about the shit in our lives that keeps us from seeing a glimpse of our True North. The Coolest Part about coming in here, Tiffanie, is learning not to just look back but to look up and to see and trust in that God of our un-understanding. We learn to look up at a God who is always doing more for us than we can ever do for our damn selves. This is The Coolest Part.
Read more about X, Yalie, Fr. Esteban, the Professor, Sean Anderson and Hunter and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #TheCoolestPartMatters
The Struggle Continues….
