Chuck is a 38-year-old investment banker. He has been in and out of the program In These Rooms for 18 months. His third wife divorced him after she found out he was having an affair and received his 3rd DWI in the last five years. He finished rehab 6 months ago. He is facing jail time on his last DWI case after copping probation on his prior cases. His investment partners have had his back he said but he fears their support of him is wearing thin. He said they’ve had conversations about buying him out of their investment group. Chuck’s take on his situation In These Rooms was “…My fucking problem ain’t out there. It’s in me. It’s an inside job…”
Thank you, Chuck. You’re not alone. We’ve all had the experience of thinking our problems are caused by people, places, things and external causes. Real talk, none of us get to truly understanding or overcome The Inside Job without some damn work. The past In These Rooms is often described as a set up. If you see a turtle on a fence post, the one thing you know for damn sure is it didn’t get there by itself. It’s said “…our character defects are ingrained in us in childhood…”
“…I thought my problems were caused by people who didn’t look like me impacting me. I thought the man was my problem and people who looked like the man and not like me. I thought what other people thought of me was what I needed to be and become. I thought I was how I knew I looked in other people’s eyes. This is The Inside Job…”
X
“…I thought my problems were caused by the ugly things people did to me in the past. I thought my past defined me. I thought I was what I’ve done. For years, I lived in the shadow of these thoughts. This understanding and misunderstanding was life for me. I look at all this now and I can laugh. This is The Inside Job…”
Yalie
“…I thought my problems were solved because I’ve had money. I thought the money was the key to success and happiness. I thought I would always be happy, joyous and free because of my money. I thought I had money and things. I didn’t get or think money and things had me. This is the Inside Job…”
Sean Anderson
Step 11 of the Big Book In These Rooms states “…sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Higher Power as we understood this Power, praying only for knowledge of the Power’s Will for us and the power to carry that out…” What is the definition of The Inside Job? The Inside Job is the absence of an active commitment to Step 11, A Closer Walk With Thee. The Inside Job is not trusting in a High Power to show up and show out in the shit we call a life. It’s being overwhelmed by earthly powers when we have access to a Higher Power or the Highest Power when we get fucking real about our shit, our authentic lived truth, grow a pair, and have the courage to be vulnerable. The Inside Job Is regretting the past instead of trusting our Higher Power to give us the strength, direction, aspirations and visions to repurpose that shit.
The Inside Job is believing incorrectly that people, places and things hold more value for this journey than our God-given and blessed experience, strength and hope. And we wonder why memories from the past often haunt us?
“…Way way long time ago, I use to give a damn about what others fuckin thought about me. Man, that shit was so long ago I don’t even know who the fuck that was. If I ever go down, I’m going down swinging and fuckin takin somebody’s ass with me. When the fuck they put me in the ground, it won’t be because of The Inside Job…”
Fr. Esteban
“…The Inside Job is a powerful concept in the scope of transformation. The Inside Job is about addressing the man or woman in the mirror. I believe this work is essential to our being and becoming the children of God he created us to be and become. I understand this experience. I understand how doing this work has made a difference in my life. I understand how God has been doing for me a long time more than I can do for myself. I believe this primary understanding is why The Inside Job is an important concept to transformation…”
The Professor
“…The Inside Job was the mosaic of my life before I came to embrace and celebrate the power of my story. The Inside Job was my life before getting with authentic truth, trusting God and the power found in vulnerability…”
Hunter
In These Rooms, it’s said ”…Feel it to heal it…” I feel yo,u Chuck. It was The Inside Job that had my as ass wallowing around in the shit of my past for years while God had so much more for me. I remember this preacher friend of mine ask me one time “…Steven, your ass had all the, money, homes, prestige and shit and your ass was still miserable and fucked up right? What does that tell you?” Today, I wouldn’t trade all that pain, misery and bullshit I let me beat me down in the past for all the tea in China. Notice I didn’t say all the money in the world. But I digress. Being in the outhouse and thinking I’m in the penthouse, that’s been The Inside Job. Not understanding that God “has been doing more for me than I can do for myself…” and has led me this way on this journey for reasons. He led me this way so I could one day be a fucking blessing to others and even see things that could help make of this world a better place. Not have a fucking clue about any of this in the past, this has been The Inside Job.
“…Came here for my drinking. I stayed here for my thinking…” I stay In These Rooms because they have shown me how much of my life has been The Inside Job and how much more I can do, be and even become. I can become more than I ever thought possible before I came In These Rooms. Question for you, Chuck. Will you not forget to remember he has brought your ass this way in life too for a reason? Will you not forget to remember Promise 12, Chuck? “…God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves…” Will you remember this understanding is key to overcoming The Inside Job? Will you remember this, Chuck? That is the beginning of the end of The Inside Job.
Read more about X, Yalie, Fr. Esteban, the Professor, Sean Anderson and Hunter and tell your story. Listen to Hunter’s Podcast. All on wreckedamerica.com. In Wrecked America, #TheInsideJobMatters
The Struggle Continues….
